Sayonara 2018

2018, what a year! I’ve got to admit that before writing this I genuinely thought I hadn’t done much last year. In some ways, the year had flown by within the blink of an eye but in others; it felt like the longest year ever. In the years to come or maybe months in my case, I can always scroll back through the archives and gaze in amazement at all of the things I had accomplished. 

This is one of many reasons I love writing. I guess it’s just a matter of if I want to do it. Can you believe my last blog post was in 2017? Well, I can! That’s how lazy I am to blog and I’ve been giving myself tonnes of excuses why I couldn’t do it.

I came up with this list of 2018’s highlights while scrolling back through my Instagram feed. Looking through the photos made me realize how much I treasure these little memories. For me, Instagram isn’t an endless stream of carefully curated images that are planned to perfection to be aesthetically pleasing. Instagram is my corner of the internet where I share snapshots of memories and that’s why I love it.

So here it is, my highlights of 2018;

#1 Trident

One the highlights of the year happened just a few months ago when I adopted my little baby boy, Trident (he’s not so little anymore :(  ). The little fellow walked into my new home just over a month after I moved in as if it was his. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect. There were times where he even followed me on my walks. It didn’t take me long to realise that I had to keep him :) The neighbours claim to have never seen him before. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I don’t think I can imagine a life without him. As weird as it is, it just goes to show how much of an impact one can have on another’s life. 

#2 Married

I can’t believe I’m married. *gulp* I’m starting to feel old! I had never been the girl who dreams about her future husband or wedding. I never fantasize about what my bridesmaids would wear or what the flavour my wedding cake would be. Instead, I spent my time thinking about the food adventures I would go on, the business decisions I would be making and the shoes and bags I need to get. I think marriage has changed me but I’m hoping it hasn’t. My newly minted husband says that I am of ‘wife material’ and honestly, I didn’t know how to react to that. What I miss the most about being newly married is the preparation! There’s nothing quite like seeing my favourite friends and family members coming together for such a momentous occasion. Some even travelled from miles and miles away just for me. Of course, the best part for that few months was that I, “The Ponnu” was at the centre of it all :D I mean c’mon, who doesn’t like that kind of attention. Well, I for one enjoyed it very much and I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again. For real!

#3 New Venture

Aside from my F&B venture, I have just started a new brand that I am very excited about! Whoever knew that I would get my hands so full? After 3 years of running my own show, I have realized what my passion is; working! I never knew I could have such energy and excitement from just running my own show. I also never knew I had such a thirst for knowledge (where was all of this when I was in college??!). More deets on the new brand soon. 

#4 True to myself 

I have fallen in love with myself even more! #imeanwhowouldnt :P. It’s not like I have not been loving myself before this but this time even more, maybe because I have learnt to be true to myself. All my life I have had an urge to help people. My younger self would try to help those around me, to the detriment of my own well being. The problem with putting everyone else’s needs first is that my own needs do not get tended to. I must first tend to my needs and show self-love before I can really help another human. This is often confused with being selfish. I disagree. 

#5 Tirupathi

Yes, you read that right! Haha. I know I’m far from being considered pious but there’s something about this place that just makes me feel so at peace and happy! Did you know that I was a freethinker at one point in my life? I have always been a person who questioned almost everything and relied on logical reasoning to dictate the course of my actions. In other words, I don’t do things blindly. However, visiting Tirupathi in Andhra Pradesh, India, was one of the best decisions of my life. My dad and the hubs have always tried to get me to pray, but it never worked. Whoever knew, that one visit to Lord Sri Venkateswara was all it took to get me to pray again.

I really don’t know what 2019 will bring but I do hope that the laughter will outweigh the sorrows. Hopefully, I’ll be including some travel stories by the end of 2019. Oh, and I’m hoping I’ll be blogging more this year :D

Wishing you and your loved ones a year filled with lots of exciting & happy memories. 

Cheers to 2019!

#nothinglikebloggingaboutnewyearinfeb
#betterlatethannever

Are you happy?

Not too long ago I met a friend whom I had not seen in a while and honestly, there’s nothing quite like reconnecting with a friend after a long hiatus; at least most of the time. You just have so much to talk and share that you would inevitably rekindle the darndest things that you use to do. Embarrassing! Although in hindsight, its conversations such as these that tend to reveal how much you’ve grown as an individual.

 Obviously we had so much to catch up! She had been away from Malaysia for some time now but when I asked her what she wanted to have for brunch, she replied with ‘nasi lemak’! Lol, still a Malaysian at heart. We proceeded to have our nasi lemak & then I took her for desserts. Truly, it had been ages since I took some time off for myself to do stuff like this. It really felt good!  We spoke about school, college, work and adult life. Argghh I hate talking about these things as they tend to make me feel old. 

She had been in many relationships before but none of them really lasted. Back in school, she was always the first in everything. First in class, first in sports, first in well, everything and so I couldn’t help but think that she would be the first to settle down as well. She met a guy recently and apparently they have been going out for over a year. Having been in a few relationships before, I would understand if she feared to commit & settle down for good. She spoke so much about him.  “Are you happy?” was all I asked. My dearest friend’s face changed and she kept quiet for about a few seconds and then replied “You know Aruna, in my 20 plus years of life, no one has ever asked me that question!”

That’s when I realized the same is true for me. No one has ever asked me that question too! I don’t know why I even asked her that. It just came out in the spur of the moment. It got me thinking, why aren’t we all asking each other this question? Normally if a friend tells you that she/he is a relationship, your immediate question would be, “how old is he/where does he work/how did you guys meet” and well sometimes these questions do lead to the “Are you happy?” question but more often than not they don’t. We tend to be so caught up in our materialistic world that we rarely stop to think about what really matters to us most. It’s just so sad.

From that moment, I told myself that I will change the way I ask questions to my friends or even strangers! It took just one small question to make my old friend feel happy again & believe it or not, she even considered settling down. I guess I have my ways of reaching people :P

So guys, ask yourself! Are you happy? I’m sure that it will at least cause you to pause. 

♥

Best Version of Yourself

Oh I've missed blogging but I sat here for a long time, wondering what to blog about. Paralyzed is probably more accurate. Last year has been a busy one and I have struggled to find time to blog – sometimes I do feel a bit like I'm just spinning plates!

What better way to start my first post of the year by sharing a little about myself & some wise words from
Aruna Sukumar :D (well let's hope so) 

I have struggled with this for most of my life. I was always taught to be better than others; to never settle for anything less than gold. We all do it or have done it at some point in our lives. We compare ourselves to others and judge where we are based on how well they are doing.

Two years ago, I was at the lowest point of my life, to me it was rock bottom, really. Life was pretty rough for me. It was a place I never expected to be in. Today, it all makes sense but back then, I kept wondering to myself “Why, why is this happening to me?!” That incident left me in a place that I never want or wish for anyone to be in. An extremely depressing zone. Throughout the ordeal, I did nothing but compare myself to others, more so than ever.

Growing up, I had been always been a very curious girl. Curious to such an extent that I often left my parents answer-less. Trust me, you don’t want to know what sorts of questions I used to ask them. This curious attitude of mine did at times help me. I try to answer most of the questions in my head. This one in particular was a great help to me.
“Why do I compare myself to others?”

Think about it, why do we all do this? Let me tell you why. It is the influence of our family, friends, the media & society at large that makes us do this whether we’re aware of it or not. I realize that they were taught and influenced by their environment and this tradition has merely been passed on to us; the way it has always been. And well if you have Indian parents you would know how much it means to them; what society thinks!

I used to compare myself to just about everything. I suppose it’s because of my obsession of wanting to be & own the best of everything. Isn’t that normal? To feel as such? We all want the best don’t we? So why not the best version of ourselves?

Listen sweetheart, if you are comparing yourself to someone right now, STOP! Stop ‘stalking’ him or her. We all know that not everything you see & hear are true. Put your stupid phone(s) away, get up, get out & get a breather! And if you have strict parents like mine and if you are reading this at the wee hours then turn off your phone and just hit the sack, now!
Why? Well what else can you do? Haha.

Look, I know it is easier said than done. It takes time for you to make something into a habit. So try. Keep trying and don’t stop until you are so much happier than you’ve ever been in your life. Comparing yourself with others does nothing but make you sad & depressed as you’ll always find someone who in your opinion is doing much better than you are.

Let 2017 be a year filled with “Me!” So focus on yourself & if you need to then, compare yourself to your past self and nothing more!

To all the parents reading this, please do not be a negative space among your kids. Provide them the tools to be the best version of themselves and I guarantee that they will amaze you.

♥

Just a Smile!

I have repeatedly discovered that it is important for me not to surpass my capacity for responsibility. Over the years, this capacity has grown, but my tendency of exceeding it has not changed.

Two days ago, I visited the bank to sort my bills and all that I have been procrastinating for a long time. I noticed that the longer I procrastinate on something, the guiltier I feel about it. The guilt I feel then causes me to avoid the issue further, which only leads to more guilt and more procrastination. In time, it grows so large that merely carrying it around with me feels like a huge responsibility. It takes up a sizable portion of my capacity, leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming more food and surfing the internet ad infinitum. 

Anyways, as I was saying, I was at the bank and service was slow as usual (I will not name the bank as I’ve really got nothing positive to say about it :P). After an arduous 30 minutes wait, my number was called. There were 4 staffs behind the counter and only 5 people at the bank. What in the world made me think that I could settle my business within 15 minutes? Of course that wasn’t going to happen! Maybe there are banks that are efficient but certainly not this one. I brushed aside my waiting ordeal and decided to be nice. I always try to be nice. I believe that a simple phrase such as “good morning/ have a good day” could potentially be all it takes to make a person’s day. 

My number was called, I walked over to the counter, greeted “Good morning” and smiled. The lady behind the counter was very kind and helpful to everything that I had to ask.

Then, a really cute and slightly hunched old lady walked into the bank. She took her number and waited beside me till her number was called. I smiled at this woman who was extremely adorable. The ‘kakak’ behind the counter told her to take a seat but she didn’t want to. She said she had walked too much and after 10 minutes her number was called. Her counter was right beside mine but unfortunately the girl who was assisting her was a newbie and so she didn’t know how to proceed with the elderly woman’s transaction. Aiyoo! Why do banks allow newbies to handle such cases? Naturally, this made the lady very frustrated.  

She started yelling at the newbie staff and things got messy. The kakak who was handling my transaction had to calm the woman by reassuring her that she will handle her issue once mine is done. She looked at me and we started having a conversation. She asked me what my name was and from there on our conversation only got deeper.

Apparently, the elderly woman had worked in a bank many, many years ago. According to her, back then, everyone knew their work. No nonsense! No excuses! The sentence “Saya baru, saya tak tahu” was never uttered. Their bosses were so strict that it was inevitable that the services that they rendered was excellent. I bet it was. Those were the days. Sorry to say but today, any tom, dick and harry could work in a bank. Eventually, our conversation led into politics and a summary of her biography in the time I was waiting for my transaction to be done. From her work history, marriage, kids, where she lives and what she is currently doing, she poured it all out unto me.

I realized in that moment that being nice is not an easy thing. All it takes is just a smile for a conversation to begin. She obviously felt comfortable to have vented her frustration on me which, in turn led to a lengthy conversation. Unfortunately, I had to end it when ‘kakak’ was done with my transactions. Before I took off, she bade me farewell by saying “Girl, I wish you all the best in your life and career. You will do great things. God Bless you”.

That sentence made my entire day! 

So much power in so little words.

♥