Not too long ago I met a friend whom I had not seen in a while and honestly, there’s nothing quite like reconnecting with a friend after a long hiatus; at least most of the time. You just have so much to talk and share that you would inevitably rekindle the darndest things that you use to do. Embarrassing! Although in hindsight, its conversations such as these that tend to reveal how much you’ve grown as an individual.
Obviously we had so much to catch up! She had been away from Malaysia for some time now but when I asked her what she wanted to have for brunch, she replied with ‘nasi lemak’! Lol, still a Malaysian at heart. We proceeded to have our nasi lemak & then I took her for desserts. Truly, it had been ages since I took some time off for myself to do stuff like this. It really felt good! We spoke about school, college, work and adult life. Argghh I hate talking about these things as they tend to make me feel old.
She had been in many relationships before but none of them really lasted. Back in school, she was always the first in everything. First in class, first in sports, first in well, everything and so I couldn’t help but think that she would be the first to settle down as well. She met a guy recently and apparently they have been going out for over a year. Having been in a few relationships before, I would understand if she feared to commit & settle down for good. She spoke so much about him. “Are you happy?” was all I asked. My dearest friend’s face changed and she kept quiet for about a few seconds and then replied “You know Aruna, in my 20 plus years of life, no one has ever asked me that question!”
That’s when I realized the same is true for me. No one has ever asked me that question too! I don’t know why I even asked her that. It just came out in the spur of the moment. It got me thinking, why aren’t we all asking each other this question? Normally if a friend tells you that she/he is a relationship, your immediate question would be, “how old is he/where does he work/how did you guys meet” and well sometimes these questions do lead to the “Are you happy?” question but more often than not they don’t. We tend to be so caught up in our materialistic world that we rarely stop to think about what really matters to us most. It’s just so sad.
From that moment, I told myself that I will change the way I ask questions to my friends or even strangers! It took just one small question to make my old friend feel happy again & believe it or not, she even considered settling down. I guess I have my ways of reaching people :P
So guys, ask yourself! Are you happy? I’m sure that it will at least cause you to pause.